instead of watching the 50 Shades trailer, why not just make awkward eye contact with a total stranger at the grocery store for a solid 2 minutes and 34 seconds? you get the same skin-crawling, uncomfortable feeling but without the shitty writing, terrible acting and massive dose of rape culture
So the OkCupid guy was actually reasonable when he got turned down? He just told me he was bummed because he had a really great time last time and if I ever change my mind to let him know. Like??? I’m really taken aback. In a good way. I still don’t want to go out with him. But he’s at least a decent person about it (low standards, I know).
Celebrating by not going on a date and getting my oil changed. And I’m honestly really excited about it. Throw in some LOTR reading, and concert at Red Rocks tomorrow night, and you’ve got one happy Kathryn.
“Ask him why he can’t commit.
Ask him how he can say he loves you but not check on you everyday.
Why he can call you in the middle of the night but not first thing in the morning.
Why he can’t say your name without splintering his tongue.
Ask him where he goes after he leaves you.
Who he’s with when he says he’s at home.
Tell him you don’t trust him.
Tell him that he makes you crazy,
that his half assd attempts at security drive you mad.
Tell him that you don’t like the way that loving him makes you feel, that you wake up every morning aching.
Tell him, you hurt more, you sleep less and it always feels like you are too weighty for him.
Ask him why he can’t commit,
why he leaves and returns just when you think you can live without him.
Ask him why he can’t stay,
Why he’s committed to leaving but not committed to you.
Ask him why you never feel like you can ask him these things?
Why he gets to live weightless,
while you live shoulder deep inside him.”—Key Ballah, Ask Him (via keywrites)
I actually went on a date with someone from OkCupid. He was a nice enough guy, surprisingly enough. We got along okay, he was sweet. But he was definitely way more into me than I was into him. And he doesn’t really have his life together, he was…
Thank you all for the excellent advice! I have a bit more perspective and I definitely need to do what makes me comfortable. I only met him once - I don’t owe him anything. And dragging it along to be nice or spare his feelings helps no one and ultimately will only make me more uncomfortable. So decision: I’m not going to out with him this weekend or ever. I’m going to be (mostly) honest and tell him I’m not interested. If he gets creepy or starts begging/harassing, I’ll block his number. I’m going to permanently delete my okcupid account to eliminate any temptation to return. And I’m going to save a copy of that gif because it’s my new favorite.
I actually went on a date with someone from OkCupid. He was a nice enough guy, surprisingly enough. We got along okay, he was sweet. But he was definitely way more into me than I was into him. And he doesn’t really have his life together, he was constantly interrupting me, and he smokes. HUGE DEAL BREAKER. Like, I watched 2 of my grandparents and my aunt die from smoking-related diseases, and my remaining grandfather has COPD. Plus, I work for a company that designs testing equipment for COPD and asthma. Nuh-uh.
But I had fun, so I was willing to give it another shot. I told him I was super busy finishing my Master’s until this weekend (the date was last week). So what does he do? He texts me last Friday saying, ‘hey I know you said you were super busy, but let’s do something tomorrow’. Which I find off-putting. Like, I said I was busy, so respect that please and thank you. I know he was probably just being friendly and wanted to see me and provide an opportunity for a break and blah blah blah, but I dunno. It felt disrespectful.
So he texted me again yesterday saying he wanted to take me out this weekend to celebrate being done with my Master’s. So I said okay because I was still somewhat willing to give it a try. I gave him some suggestions of what we could do, one of which was going to a baseball game. And then we agreed that we’d plan Friday/Saturday. BUT THEN he texts me today asking if he should buy tickets to the game Saturday. Like, dude. 1. We didn’t agree on anything. And 2, and much more importantly, I’m still super fucking busy trying to finish my fucking paper which is due on Friday. Give me some fucking space. At this point, I just don’t want to hang out with him at all anymore. I get he had a good time, but holy fuck. I met him once and I feel like I’m being smothered. Maybe if I were more into him, I’d feel different, but this is just all too much.
So what do I do? I don’t really want to go out with him anymore, but I don’t feel like I really have a good explanation for why (not that I need one, I just feel I do because of reasons). But I don’t really want to bail either, and I don’t feel like ignoring him is the best option (though it’s not like I’d ever see him again unless I intentionally went to the same bar). I just don’t know how to approach the situation and I feel really uncomfortable about the whole thing.
“It’s not just about sex. Don’t get me wrong. Sex is fucking great, but when you have a connection with someone, when you feel so strong for someone, just a kiss is enough to make your knees weak. You just can’t beat that.”—(via kbfoto)
“Female voters in the US have been called “soccer moms” and “security moms”. In 2004, single women were “Sex and the City voters”. Now – because apparently women can’t ever just be “citizens” or “voters”, or more likely because conservatives prefer to call us names instead of delving too deep into women’s issues – we are “Beyoncé voters”. Bow down, bitches.
Most single ladies would generally be thrilled with a comparison to Queen Bey in any way, shape or form, but the cutesy nicknames for politically-engaged women need to stop. Surely pundits and the political media culture can deal with the collective electoral power of the majority voting bloc in this country in some better way than symbolically calling us “sweetheart”, complete with head pat.”—Jessica Valenti: Nick-naming women ‘Beyoncé voters’ is exactly why we don’t vote Republican (via gregferrell)
“Yes, poor little old you. There we were, discussing rape, violence against women, systemic oppression and other manifestations of sexism, and you had to jump in to remind us that “not all men” do these things. Why don’t you really say what you want to say? “I HAVE NEVER RAPED/HIT/ASSAULTED A WOMAN!” Right? Isn’t this what you really want to say? Yes, make a discussion that is about the plight of MILLIONS of women about poor little old you. I mean, millions of women are being assaulted and oppressed, but you’ve never done it, so why are we making you uncomfortable with these discussions?”—Brenda Wambui breaking down the ridiculous “Not all men!” phrase over at Medium. Top-notch work. (via itmac)
“Are you the SAT because I’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a 10 minute break halfway through for snacks, and then I can stare at you for like 10 minutes and think ‘wow, I hope I don’t ruin this.’”— Dude on OKC with the best pick up lines I have ever heard (via katamarang)
“If you’re ever lucky enough to find a girl who is a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind, you should hold onto that. Because she’ll be yours at two in the morning and at two in the afternoon the following day. She’ll kiss you where it hurts and until it hurts. And that’s important. Someone who not only knows how to turn you on but also knows how to treat you right is someone worth a little something… and a little more than usual.”—(via emm-tehl)
When you get that look in your eye, You’re easy to believe I believed that you would stay, I guess that’s on me Why did you make me feel like I could be what you need If I’m not just another girl, then why did you leave?
“in your arms I forget what the yarn knows of sweaters.
I forget how to hold myself together.
so if I unfold now like a love letter,
tell me you’ll write back soon.”—Andrea Gibson, from “Yarn” (via littleblips)